Have you ever been sitting on the toilet, about to reach for a few plies of Charmin’, when the thought suddenly pops into your head, “Man, I wish there was a toilet paper out there made from milk. That would really make things so much better for me!” No? Me neither. At this point, though, you have probably guessed that there is such a thing as toilet paper made from milk—that sacred breakfast liquid. It’s a new offering, available in Italy, called Carezza di Latte, translating to “milk caress,” made in partnership with the Italian company Lucart and the German company Qmilk, known for spinning spoiled and discarded milk fibers into fabric.
Milk fibers? Yes, milk fibers. According to Qmilk’s founder, Anke Domaske, who spoke to the Guardian about her invention, the company extracts the solid cheese curds that appear when milk sours and dry it into a protein powder, then add water, work it through a kind of noodle machine, and turn those milky sheets into T.P. (or “loo roll,” as our friends across the pond at the Guardian charmingly call it).
Somewhat unsettlingly, Domaske tells the Guardian that the milk her company uses comes not from expired cartons but sick cows and cows that have been treated with antibiotics and the like. Qmilk uses about 1,000 metric tons of this kind of milk a year, according to Domaske.
The reassuring news? “It’s dermatologically very good,” Domaske told the Guardian. “It should be okay for people with allergies, even lactose intolerance, because even though you can technically eat it there’s no lactose inside it.” But if you have a milk allergy, you're probably better off sticking to your normal bathroom products.