It’s a surreal time to be in America right now, so I figured I should experience the moment fully, at its most extreme. On Saturday, I walked into The Hog Pit, a restaurant and bar in Manhattan, and found myself surrounded by beer-swilling 20-somethings sporting fake goatees and spiky blond wigs, retro bowling shirts, and wrap-around sunglasses. They’d assembled to pay homage to Guy Fieri, the one-of-a-kind American culinary figure (and incoming White House chef?) best known for his show Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. This was the first stop on the first annual FieriCon, a bar crawl conceived in a hungover flash of brilliance by a 23-year-old named Dave Gold. It would eventually end, naturally, at Guy’s American Kitchen and Bar, the subject of the most scathing New York Times review of all time. 

You could almost smell the testosterone in the air at The Keg Room, the third step on the crawl. At that point, the young men had been joined by some “Girl Fieris,” mostly wearing American flag visors with spiky blond hair insets. More beers had been consumed by then, and in tighter quarters, the enthusiasm reached a fever pitch as the guys gathered for a photo chanting “I’m Guy Fieri! I’m Guy Fieri!” 

What a time to be alive.

Luke Clifford

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Luke Clifford: Sausage, egg and cheese.

What’s the Guy Fieri breakfast of your dreams?
Probably mac and cheese pancakes.

What’s the best way to Fieri-fy your breakfast? 
Donkey sauce.

Favorite Guy Fieri saying? 
“I could put this on a flip-flop and it would taste good."

What would you do if Guy Fieri walked in here right now?
I’d probably yell “Welcome to Flavortown" and give him a high five.

Dave Gold

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
Dave Gold: A breakfast burrito with sausage, hash browns, and American cheese.

What’s it like wearing a Guy Fieri goatee?
It’s so hard to keep it on. Anytime I laugh it wants to fall off, and I’ve been laughing a lot today.

What’s your earliest Guy Fieri memory?
I think I was a senior in high school sitting on the couch with my dad and little brothers flipping though channels and we stumbled on Triple D and my dad goes, “Haha, I love this show. This guy’s hilarious.”

What does it feel like to be surrounded by all these Guy Fieris today?
It’s a big joke. It’s all in good fun and good-natured. I wish I had something more intelligent to say. It’s just a funny place to be.

John Gold

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
John Gold: A pulled pork sandwich with donkey sauce. Yeah, for real. We had a little brunch beforehand where we sampled some of Guy’s favorite flavors. 

What’s it like wearing a Guy Fieri goatee?
It’s a little itchy, but it’s so worth it. 

What’s your earliest Guy Fieri memory? 
I was on a red eye airplane and I think I watched six straight hours of Triple D.

Favorite Guy Fieri saying?
“Welcome to Flavortown!”

Fiona Sweeney

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning? 
Fiona Sweeney: Apple pancakes. My mom made them.

What’s your earliest Guy Fieri memory?
"Holy-moly, Stromboli!" That’s what he says on his show.

Have you been to Guy’s restaurant in Times Square before?
I haven’t, but i’m excited to try it even though I hear it’s a glorified TGI Fridays.

How does it feel to be around all these Guy Fieris today?
Gangster.

Jeff Smith

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning? 
Jeff Smith: Bacon, egg, and cheese.

What’s your earliest Guy Fieri memory? 
It was probably around 2008 when I saw Triple D. I was instantly in. I was home.

What’s the Guy Fieri breakfast of your dreams? 
Maybe some ribs that are absolutely out of bounds and fall-off-the-bone. Served on a flip-flop.

Tell me about your outfit today.
I owned all of this already. I didn’t have to buy a thing for this. Even the wig.

Why’d you have the wig? 
Why wouldn’t I have it? 

Jason Mertz

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning? 
Jason Mertz: I had a sausage, egg and cheese with the hash browns on a whole wheat wrap. I’m trying to keep healthy.

Tell me about your outfit today.
I picked these glasses up at a street fair in Midtown today. The shirt I got online. I really like the orange and yellow flames on it. 

What do you like about Guy?
I love his demeanor. He’s wild. He’s crazy. He’s unorthodox.

What’s the Guy Fieri breakfast of your dreams?
I’d love to get something with tons of eggs, a lot of avocado and a peculiar meat. Maybe something like a brisket.

“Fritz”

Extra Crispy: What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
"Fritz": A poppy seed bagel with scallion cream cheese.

What’s the Guy Fieri breakfast of your dreams?
I’d want him to make me a skillet with bacon, scallions, eggs obviously. Maybe some ranch in there.

What’s your earliest Guy Fieri memory?
There are so many memories but the best one was probably when Guy did an all-you-can-eat challenge in South Tennessee. I saw it on Food Network. 

What’s the best way to Fieri-fy your breakfast?
Add flavor. As much flavor as possible.