Chocolate is undeniably good, enjoyable in virtually any form: ice cream, milk, cake, bars, and drizzled on fruit. But is it so good that you’d risk a serious prison sentence to get your hands on it? Some alleged Russian mobsters apparently thought it was worth the risk: AOL reports a group of possible Russian mob members tried to traffick 10,000 pounds of chocolate. With a bounty of chocolate that large, it’s hard to imagine these wise guys wouldn’t get busted, but they sure tried it, and now face several serious charges, including extortion, murder for hire, and, obviously, chocolate trafficking.
The group of alleged mob men behind the failed heist is called the Shulaya Enterprise, which is led by Razhden Shulaya and Zurab Dzhanashvili, according to the US Department of Justice. In a June 7 DOJ report on the Shulaya Enterprise, the syndicate is accused of committing a “dizzying array” of crimes, including the bungled chocolate trafficking. According to the DOJ, the Shulaya Enterprise also hacked casino slot machines, plotted a murder for hire, and robbery that included poisoning victims with chloroform.
But back to the chocolate. The Enterprise is accused of stealing a cargo shipment that contained the approximately 5 tons of the sweet. And how exactly did the chocolate deal go awry? In classic mob TV trope form, the Shulaya Enterprise attempted to sell the stolen chocolate to a government agent. Whoops. In total, 27 Enterprise members were associated with the long list of various charges, 23 were taken into custody, and 18 faced a federal judge last Wednesday.
Let this serve as a reminder that crime doesn’t pay, especially when you try to make off which 10,000 pounds of chocolate (and are also possibly guilty of other charges ranging from murder conspiracies to robbery). No candy is worth it.