Bird cannons, in case you didn't know, exist to frighten birds. They emit a sound much like a gun, but without the bullets. Grape growers use them to keep the birds away from their harvest as it ripens. However, one vineyard owner has been using the cannons for a passion project of his: annoying the hell out of his neighbors. Napa Valley Register reports that residents in southern Napa County have complained about blasts coming from Noemi Vineyard, which is owned by grapegrower Eleodoro Hernandez. Allegedly, Hernandez has been shooting his vineyard's cannons constantly since July, sometimes every 30 seconds.
"We think that it's malicious," 55-year-old Scott Espinoza told the Register. That's right, malicious bird blasting. This is what we've come to. This is where we are as a human race
"If you were standing on my property, you would be shocked," said Lee Acree, another neighbor in the area. "[The blasts are] deafening, and that's why we don't go outside very much."
Apparently, the blasts are part of a "vendetta against the people around him" and he's "pointing the cannons at our residents." The blasts start as early as 6:30 in the morning, Espinoza said, and sometimes "they're going off as late as 8 p.m. or after," he said.
A moment for reflection here: he’s doing this every 30 seconds, at times. This means this twisted schmuck is spending a considerable part of his life making himself deaf just to piss off his neighbors. Unless he’s set his cannons to auto-pilot, in which case, still: what the hell.
The vendetta started before Espinoza moved onto the property, allegedly due to Hernandez's failed attempts to purchase the property Espinoza currently owns. "And last year it was for the same reason," Acree told the Register. "[Hernandez] wanted the properties around him...and they were sold to other people, and he's very mad at us."