America's war on respectable food choices scored a major victory this week as the cereal manufacturer, Medley Farms, began selling a bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows without the cereal. Although the rights-holder to the "official" Lucky Charms brand, General Mills, isn't behind the release (and therefore this cereal isn't really Lucky Charms, according to some corporate lawyer types), you can now buy a bag of "Charms Cereal Marshmallows," which look an awful lot like hearts, stars, and horseshoes. These mystically delightful marshmallows come on a one-pound container, and are recommended for use in "a bowl of cereal or a steaming mug of hot chocolate." But let's get real—we both know that these treats are made for direct consumption as a breakfast food. It's really okay, Medley Farms, we've stopped lying to ourselves.
People have asked General Mills to release only the Lucky Charms marshmallows, and the company obliged in 2015 with the aptly-named Lucky Charms Marshmallows. But the company only made ten boxes of the good stuff, which were handed out through a sweepstakes, leaving mere mortals with little more than a dream of ever pouring a bowl of cereal from this coveted prize. Winners were selected from a social media contest wherein people were asked to pose with an imaginary box of Lucky Charms Marshmallows cereal. Even rapper Biz Markie got in on the act, providing his own take on the contest to get the ball rolling.
Even better, the Biz dropped a revamped version of his hit, "Just a Friend," to celebrate the giveaway.
So for those unfortunate souls who didn't make the cut, take heed: fortune's light shines on you now, too. A bag of Cereal Charms will set you back about twelve bucks on Amazon, which is only two dollars less than a two-box pack of Lucky Charms. But considering the latter has all of those vitamin-soaked cereal bits, the better value might be in the box of pure marshmallowy goodness. But then again, maybe you're content to pick all of the marshmallows out of the box instead. Either way, you do you. I don't know your life.