It's the Friday before a long weekend, and let's be real. You're not really getting anything done at work today. You're just dreaming of 5 p.m., when you can fully check out for the next 72 hours. But the day just started, and you've got so many hours of sitting at your desk ahead. If only there was a machine that you could rent for a day to do your job for you, you know? Well, if your job is cracking and separating literally thousands of eggs in an hour, I've got great news for you—that machine exists! It's the called the OptiBreaker Compact 6, and according to the manufacturer, it can break and separate 66,600 eggs per hour.
Now, if this is your job, I'm sure there's a very good reason that you're cracking and separating all those eggs at once. I, unfortunately, am not privy to this information. What I do know, though, is that the OptiBreaker Compact 6 is a mesmerizing machine; I don't even think I'm going too far to call it a work of art. The way the eggs get loaded from a tank of water to a conveyer belt is graceful. The satisfying crack of the breaker that cleanly splits the shells in two pieces is symphonic. The metal chutes that separate the yolk from the white are architectural wonders.
If your job isn't to break and separate eggs all day, I'm sorry that this machine won't help make your job more efficient. But at least you can waste a solid two minutes watching this video of the OptiBreaker Compact 6 in action. Now there's only seven hours and 58 minutes left until you can leave the office to crack some eggs of your own.