Have you ever looked down at your breakfast sandwich, shook your head in disappointment, and thought, "Assembling sandwiches is for peasants. If only there were a way to put these two-to-four ingredients together simultaneously?" Well, lo and behold, humanity has stepped up to the plate once again to deliver the goods. Eradication of smallpox, man on the moon, and now this: the Hamilton Beach 25490 Dual Breakfast Sandwich Maker. It makes not one, but two breakfast sammies at the same time! That's at least a 100 percent increase in sandwich, because that's how math works!

The Hamilton Beach 25490 Dual Breakfast Sandwich Maker features dual three-tiered systems. The top third is for your muffin slice, and the middle shelf is for an egg. The bottom layer is for the other muffin half, toppings, and "precooked meat." The instructions are very clear here, and repeatedly remind you about just how cooked your meat should be ahead of time, and the answer is "pre-". Simply clamp that baby down, set the timer within thirty-second intervals, and set a course to Sandwich Town. Population: you.

Wait, what's that? You're an important person, and don't have time to pick and choose which toppings to layer on your precooked meats and muffins? Hey, I don't blame you. The world is a complicated place, and picking between tomatoes, cheese, and bell peppers makes me anxious, too. So fear not! There's even a complimentary cookbook, which lays out exactly which ingredients to load in there. Isn't a total lack of autonomy nice? The answer is yes!

In the world of the Hamilton Beach 25490 Dual Breakfast Sandwich Maker, where everything is instantaneous and the meat is precooked, even a mere five minutes can seem like an eternity. But steel yourself, you beautiful, brave breakfast pioneer! The results are well worth the wait. 

Once your five minutes or so are up, flip the closed griddle, slide out the middle barrier like some sinister egg trapdoor, and ta-da. You've got two breakfast egg sandwiches awaiting you and your significant other. Okay, let's be real. You made two sandwiches for yourself. But that's okay! The Hamilton Beach 25490 Dual Breakfast Sandwich Maker isn't here to judge you. It's here to make you pancake breakfast sandwiches. Did we mention you could use pancakes as buns? You can use pancakes as buns, because this is the dawning of a new age, a pure age, and the old rules of God and man are null and void with arrival the Hamilton Beach 25490 Dual Breakfast Sandwich Maker.