Nothing against December, but we all know that July is actually the most wonderful time of the year. It's the month where you can convince your employer that swim trunks in the office count as "business casual," popsicles can be eaten as meals, and your winter coat is somewhere under the bed gathering dust. Of all the unofficial holidays of summer—Shark Week, The First Day Fireflies Come Out, Tomato Season—my favorite has to be July 11, or, as the nation's 7-Elevens recognize it: Free Slurpee Day.
A Slurpee might be, for you, nothing but a road trip treat or a distant childhood memory. But there is good reason that you need to drink one, today, for breakfast. Not only is a Slurpee the ideal mixture of ice and sugar to get you through the sticky mid-summer days, it also makes an excellent base for a brunch cocktail. You could, as high school students have since the dawn of convenience stores, simply mix your Cherry Coke-Pina Colada-Fanta-Lime mixture with whatever alcohol you have on hand. But with a little pre-planning (and honestly, a cooler bag isn't the worst idea) you can make something truly glorious. Make use of this Free Slurpee Day with these five Slurpee cocktails that will make you the envy of your friends and colleagues. (Yes, it's Monday. Yes, you should bring your alcoholic Slurpee drink to stash in the work freezer until lunch/happy hour. Or drink it at 9 a.m.; everyone else is on vacation anyway. Slurpees are a judgment-free zone.)
Peach Lemonade Slurpee + Cheap Sparkling Wine = Slurpmosa
For our purposes, we used Korbel, but the truth is that the Peach Lemonade is an excellent base for any bubbly. André? OK! Cook's? Sure! The leftover dregs of that nice bottle you had over the weekend? I can't see why not. If you want to go for the gusto, you might want to even pair it with peach André. Garnish it with a tiny umbrella and your morning is off to an excellent start.
Fill your Slurpee vessel of choice with one half Cherry Slurpee and one half Pina Colada Slurpee, finished with a touch of Mountain Dew flavor for a tiny zing of citrus. Add a shot of tequila (or two, or three, if it's that kind of day.) Mix, garnish, and watch your friends be super jealous. If your local 7-Eleven happens to have the coveted Orange Creme flavor, throw a dab of that in there too.
For this number, you're going to want to put down a base layer of one-third of a container of Blue Raspberry Slurpee, and top it with about two-thirds of a container of Mountain Dew, then pour your gin in and stir. Seltzer would not go awry in this, nor would a little bit of citrus if you have it. Or a dollop of the Peach Lemonade, now that you mention it.
Breakfast of Champions
As any Slurpee mixologist knows, adding alcohol to the mixture hastens the melting process, therefore leading to strangely-mingled flavors, sometimes in a good way. The Breakfast of Champions starts out red, white, and blue and then gently melts into a rich purple. America! To whip this one up, put down a layer of Blue Raspberry, followed by an equal layer of Pina Colada and Cherry. Top with the rest of that cheap sparkling wine, or the clear liquor of your choice. Rum would probably be good. Vodka could work. Bud Lite might be pushing it, but I believe in you. Drink. Feel patriotic.
The recipe for this one is simple: fill up your chalice with a healthy amount of Coca-Cola Slurpee (or Diet Coke Cherry, if that's your speed.) Top that off with cheap red wine. Done and done: a kalimotxo but with Slurpee. We used burgundy Franzia, but basically anything works. Sorry, not sorry.
Yes, Free Slurpee Day comes around just once a year. But here's a secret: Slurpees are mad cheap. Treat yourself, and it can be July 11 all year long.