Guy Fieri knows things. Truly delicious things. In the crackle of coverage around his hair, cars, catchphrases, and accessories, he doesn't always get enough credit for that. But if Guy Fieri personally offered you a slice of bacon, you know in the depths of your soul that it would be inarguably excellent bacon, cooked gloriously, and that you'd be eating it whilst having yourself a damn good time. Although there was no bacon physically on hand in the hotel lobby where Extra Crispy interviewed Fieri during the South Beach Wine and Food Festival, the Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives host's ebullient presence evoked the pure delight of Saturday mornings spent kicking back with some bloody marys, maybe a cartoon or two, and the sizzle and scent of a lavish breakfast drawing you into the kitchen.

Fieri, to no one's surprise, has the conditions for his ideal enjoyment of bacon down to a formula. Consider this your crash course in Guy Math.

Extra Crispy: What is the correct amount of bacon?
Guy Fieri: I have this. This is down to a science. It has to be really good bacon. Bacon is also like pizza—when it's bad it's still good. You take, the average is three pieces per person, so my coefficient ratio explanation breakdown is triple what you think you need. 

So nine?
Because there's a cooking eating, there's a breakfast enjoyment, and then there's a postmortem bacon indulgence. So three times the amount. 

That makes all of the sense. 
I've taken the time. Science. It's Guy Math. It's really the truth, because when does anyone ever complain "Oh no, there's too much bacon"? And I'll tell you the best way to cook bacon is—and people don't know this, we know this from the restaurant business but we don't employ it at home enough—I'm gonna break it down for you. 

Please do.
And chef Marcus [Fieri gestures across the table to Marcus Samuelsson who is texting, quietly] back me up on this: The reason that bacon at a restaurant tastes so much better than bacon at home is because you have to truly render the fat. There's a certain amount of meat inside of the fat that if you don't render it, you get the chewy fat, the white fat. If you don't render it down, then you don't get all this flavor. We cook bacon and the pans are too hot, so sheet traying the the bacon in a cold oven and letting it slowly come up, you get that first round of bacon, which is always the best bacon. Correct? [Marcus: "Absolutely."] There we go!

Breakfast science!
And Guy Math.