Can’t smoke weed at work? Then these pot muffins are for you. I'm not being cute or facetious: While plenty of folks enjoy a spot or two of marijuana for funzies, there are many of us who use it for medical reasons (and also for funzies). Personally I use it for the crippling pain I occasionally experience after being hit by a car a few years back, which I feel is a strong enough excuse for flouting the Man. 

However, it is not acceptable for a 36-year-old mother of two to be on the devil’s weed: Everybody knows mothers should be on Xanax and red wine. Our kind needs to hide in plain sight. Who’s going to judge a sweet little zucchini muffin, sitting there on your desk seemingly minding its own business? Nobody. Now you can make it through the day without chronic pain, worrying about a migraine, or developing glaucoma.

Quick disclaimer here: Remember to take it slow. Edibles don’t hit you right away, and you don’t want to eat more than your limit and 20 minutes later ending up hiding in the supply closet (though this recipe is super low dose to keep things from getting too crazy). Until you learn what works for you take bites and space them out, and you’ll have a barely perceptible high. And if anyone does get suspicious, just tell them you’re on Percocet. That is completely socially acceptable.

Cannabutter Zucchini Muffins

  • Yields: 12 muffins
  • Total Time: 30 minutes

Ingredients

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F.

  2. In a bowl, mix together zucchini, melted cannabutter, olive oil, and both sugars. Once combined, mix in eggs one at a time. Sift together all dry ingredients and mix into zucchini in one addition. Fold in nuts, if desired.

  3. Line a 12-count muffin tin with cupcake wrappers, and divide batter equally between them. Bake for approximately 20 minutes, or until the tops spring back when lightly touch and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Each muffin will have approximately 5-10 mg of THC, which is at or below the recommended beginner's dosage.